Many of you mommas know that waking up in the middle of the night with your baby is hard. Sometimes, you finally drift off to sleep only to hear your little one cry, or in my case, grunt. Lol. I never wake up to Josiah crying, but instead, he grunts like he’s clearing his throat until I wake up and get him. I think that’s weird but at least he’s not upset. Thankfully, I’m a light sleeper or I would never hear him and the poor kid would be grunting all night if it was up to his hard sleeping daddy. I get up and unswaddle him, change his diaper, feed him until he’s happy and play with him until he seems tired again. I then have to try to get him back to sleep. This isn’t easy for Josiah. He needs a little help settling down and rocking comfortably in the rocking chair just doesn’t do it. He likes to be high on my shoulder with his face buried in my neck with me standing, swaying back and forth, almost like a slow dance. Trust me, he knows when I sit down because he wakes right back up and gets really antsy. After a few weeks of this repetitive, “dancing” him to sleep, it was becoming such a task to me. A task that was making me roll my eyes after 20 minutes of trying to get to sleep only to see that he is still awake. One night as I was holding him, slowly swaying from one foot to the other, I felt his little body go limp like he was asleep. I glanced at him in the mirror to see if he’s asleep and notice he has the sweetest smile on his face as he’s still awake. He was so happy and content just dancing in my arms and that smile never went away. It was the sweetest moment that only we shared right there in our room while watching his daddy sleep. A few minutes later, I noticed he’s asleep with the same smile still on his face and I no longer wanted to rush to put him down. Instead, I just wanted to hold him and keep on dancing. I thought about how many times my mind was on rushing him to sleep while missing moments like this. How many opportunities does a mother get to slow dance with her son in a lifetime? NOT MANY! I mean, maybe on his wedding day or something like that. I knew moments like this wouldn’t last long at all. Soon, he will be a hyper, loud toddler who might not want to, “slow dance,” anymore. Since that night, everytime I’m up with him, I try not to think about rushing him back to sleep for the sake of me going back to sleep. I just try to enjoy my time slow dancing and humming in his ear until he drifts off to sleep or sometimes much longer. I’m aware that this may sound silly to some, but for me, it made me start to enjoy those midnight moments instead of dread them. I know every baby is different and some might be a little more difficult, but this is my story. Count every late night and early morning with your little one an opportunity instead of a task or a job and you might not mind the loss of sleep as much. For me, it’s another opportunity to slow dance!
The happiest day of our lives, for sure, was when Josiah Michael Holland was born. I’m glad to share our birth experience with everyone. I’m also a little nervous because I know everyone has their own opinion about how they think you should bring your child into this world, but our story is OUR STORY!
It was was that day! We arrived at the hospital at 8:00 on Wednesday, March 29th to start the induction process.
Why induction one week early? It was my choice and I chose induction because I wanted my doctor to be the one to deliver Josiah. She wouldn’t have been able to if we had waited. I was healthy and the baby was healthy enough for an early delivery.
The process started at midnight with the Cervidil induction to prepare me for Pitocin induction in the morning. It was a super long night simply because I was so nervous and anxious. The night was going well though and the cervidil was doing its job.
They started the pitocin at 6:00 am Thursday, March 30th. We were so nervous because we knew it could either get labor rolling quickly or slow it down dramatically. It instantly started contractions that progressed very strongly and quickly. Since my contractions were so strong and close together, the doctor advised that I go ahead and get my epidural. My epidural was put in around 9 am and then they broke my water. So, now the waiting begins. I was feeling fantastic despite the lack of sleep. But everytime the nurses checked me I wasn’t dilated past one centimeter. So they kept increasing the Pitocin. At 3:00 that afternoon, I had only made it to two centimeters. Three hours later, at 5:00 I had only made it to two and a half. We were bummed and the epidural started wearing off. Around 6:00 I was in so much pain and they gave me more meds through my epidural that wasn’t working. The doctor told me that I was in that small percentage of women who’s body got use to the epidural and it no longer worked for them. I was having strong regular contractions but just wasn’t dilating. The baby was so low, I felt him being pushed up against me so strongly with each contraction. He was ready but my body wasn’t. I talked with my doctor about opting for a cesarean and she said she would definitely do that for me if that is what I wanted. I told her I would give it a couple more hours to see if I progressed anymore. Well, after a few more hours, I hadn’t progressed. I just felt strongly that a cesarean was the best option for me. After he was born the doctor agreed because she realized how low he was and how it would have potentially been dangerous if we had waited since I was failing to progress.
It was around 8:45 p.m. and we were super excited and super nervous because our baby would be here in the next 30 minutes for sure. Jonathan kissed me as they wheeled me off to prep for surgery. The surgery prep was terrifying to me because of all the bright lights and I knew I was about to have major surgery. Lol. After they numbed me from the chest down I couldn’t breathe very well and was extremely shaky, so I was in a small panic. I needed Jonathan there to help me but for some reason, the nurse hadn’t brought him in yet. My doctor began the surgery and I still didn’t have my husband. Talk about scary. I just kept asking for him as they were cutting me. I just took some slow breaths to concentrate on breathing and not passing out. I saw someone rush around the corner and I recognized Jonathan’s eye in his O.R. attire and I just lost it with relief and happiness. He got me through that surgery with his excitement and confidence about what was happening, but I on the other hand, was a wreck, emotionally and physically. The ten minutes of the doctors getting my baby out felt like an hour. Then my doctor called my name and said, “Ok Emily, you’re about to feel a lot of pressure because I am about to pull your baby out.” The anesthesiologist said, “Take a deep breath because you’re about to be a mommy!” Jonathan was right by my side rubbing my head and holding my hand. Then we heard the sweetest cry ever! Josiah was here! Jonathan stood up and took some pictures of him as they held him up in the air then he kissed me and went to cut the cord and watch them weigh and measure him. Since my chest was so numb and I was crying, I couldn’t get enough breath or strength to talk out loud so I just mumbled hoping they would hear me. I was telling Josiah, “I love you Josiah!” “Happy Birthday baby!” “That’s your daddy beside you!” “You sound so beautiful!” “Thank you, Jesus!” The only person that heard me was the anesthesiologist, he never left my side. Then, I heard Jonathan singing the song to Josiah that he sang the entire time I was pregnant and he stopped crying and was completely calm. Talk about losing it. I lost it. Jonathan brought Josiah around the corner for me to see him for the first time and kiss those fat cheeks from the sonogram pic that I couldn’t wait to see in person. He was perfect to me.
This was literally the happiest moment of my entire life! Nothing else in the world will compare to this moment.
I debated on whether to do the belly progression pics or not because it’s just one more thing I would have to keep up with. I knew I would regret it if I didn’t do it though. To make life easier, I took these after church every Sunday because that’s the day my hair and makeup was done and looked good. Lol. What? You thought I looked like this everyday? Nope! I’m actually very low maintenance on a daily basis.
For the photos, I just wanted a pretty background. So, I went to Hobby Lobby and bought one yard of fabric in this pretty print and simply hung it on the wall beside my bed. I added a pretty white frame and bought some white letters and numbers. I love how they all turned out and I’ll cherish them always. I miss my belly already, so I’m glad I have these to look back on.
The third trimester wasn’t as busy as the previous two, but a lot definitely changed. In this trimester, the excitement, nervousness, and nursery planning made it all feel real. Continue reading “Journey To Parenthood (The Third Trimester) “
It’s Spring time and the peach blossoms came early this year. I’m so glad to have gotten these beautiful pictures made with Sugar Peach Productions at the last minute.
DISNEY (Bump’s First Visit)
“The Bump.” That is what we called the baby the entire trip. Jonathan’s dad would constantly say funny things like, “The Bump wants ice cream.” or ,”Maybe we should ask The Bump what to do next.” Continue reading “Journey To Parenthood (The Second Trimester) “
I love how our gender reveal pics turned out! They weren’t even professional. My sisters took them at the Aiken Historical Musuem with my iPhone. They’re perfect.
Even after the proof of the test, I still couldn’t believe I was pregnant. My whole life, I knew this would be a part of my future one day but once it happened, it felt like a dream. Continue reading “Journey To Parenthood (The First Trimester) “
Where do I even begin? Jonathan and I were trying to figure out how in the world we were going to tell the family. We had no idea how we wanted to tell them but knew we had to soon. Continue reading “Journey To Parent Hood (Telling The Family)”
This is the first of many posts about my pregnancy journey. I am happy to write about the entire experience and share it with you.
Jonathan and I have been married for over 7 years, Continue reading “My Pregnancy Journey (How I Told Him) “